It’s important not to be judgmental if a loved one is experiencing domestic violence. Relationship abuse can be a very isolating experience, and many victims already blame themselves for what’s happening. Having a lifeline to a friend or family member can make all the difference in a person’s ability to break free from domestic violence. Be patient and always offer a listening ear.

Use gender-neutral language (partner, they, etc) when speaking about the person who is acting abusively. Also, be aware of your own gender and sexuality biases.

Remember that leaving an abusive situation can be scary and dangerous. Don’t pressure decisions, and don’t ask blaming questions like: “Why don’t you just break up with them?” Sometimes leaving or pursuing protection from abuse order can actually increase the threat of injury or death, so never suggest such an action without understanding the situation. Instead, connect the victim with an expert from our hotline.

Let the person know they are not alone. An astounding 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience physical abuse, sexual violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner. There are also resources available through organizations like Access Family Services. We are here to walk alongside survivors on their journey to freedom and healing.

Encourage your loved one to call the Access Family Services Domestic Violence Hotline 862-444-3126 for safety planning, crisis intervention, emergency shelter, and many other services.

You can also help them create a safety plan. Read up on safety planning here.

We know that it can be frustrating and scary to see a loved one seemingly trapped in an abusive relationship. Be aware of how the situation is making you feel like a bystander, and consider talking to one of our counselors on the Access Family Services Domestic Violence Hotline.